{"id":21485,"date":"2013-07-14T00:35:44","date_gmt":"2013-07-14T04:35:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=21485"},"modified":"2013-07-14T00:54:22","modified_gmt":"2013-07-14T04:54:22","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-122","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2013\/07\/14\/limerick-of-the-week-122\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (122)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to CRAIG DYKSTRA, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

“I am telling you, Brother Jabbar,
\nAs a terrorist you will go far.
\nSimply put on this vest,
\nWe’ll take care of the rest.”
\nThey found bits of Jabbar in Qatar.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to both IRA BLOOM and EDMUND CONTI, who in a tie, each win a Facebook Friends’ Choice Award, given to limericks receiving the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

Ira Bloom:<\/p>\n

A pirate walked into a bar,
\nAfter pillaging towns near and far.
\n“Are you here for a raid?”
\nAsked a buxom barmaid.
\n“Nay, me wench,” he said, “just arrr and arrr.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Edmund Conti: <\/p>\n

A rabbi walks into a bar
\nWith a priest and an old commissar,
\nA Hindu, of course,
\nPlus a man on a horse\u2013
\nDamn! There goes my whole repertoire.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Scott Crowder, Jim Delaney, Colleen Murphy<\/a>, Jon Gearhart, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Scott Crowder: <\/p>\n

A fellow who works at a bar
\nHas proved himself quite under par.
\nHe doesn\u2019t know Jack,
\nHis White Russians are black,
\nAnd he thinks Cabernet is a car.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jim Delaney: <\/p>\n

This young fellow, though called to the bar,
\nAs an advocate isn’t a star.
\nIn the courtroom he stands
\nIn his wig and his bands,
\nWhile his clients wear feathers and tar.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Colleen Murphy: <\/p>\n

A man bellied up to the bar,
\nBut could push in his stool just so far.
\nFrom a lifetime of beers,
\nThe man’s belly appears
\nLike the roof of a Volkswagen car.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jon Gearhart: <\/p>\n

A dancer who stretched at the barre,
\nOnce stretched just a little too far.
\nYou can tell cause he walks
\nWith a limp, and he talks
\nTwice higher than Pat Benatar.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A waitress who worked in a bar
\nWith drunken old letches would spar.
\nShe said, \u201cThis is so not
\nWhat I planned when I got
\nMy art hist\u2019ry degree from Bryn Mawr.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to CRAIG DYKSTRA, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: “I am telling you, Brother Jabbar, As a terrorist you will go far. Simply put on this vest, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[2525,2690,2558,2373,2610,3727,5009,5018,2223,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21485"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21485"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21485\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21550,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21485\/revisions\/21550"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21485"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21485"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21485"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}