{"id":20555,"date":"2013-05-05T02:17:36","date_gmt":"2013-05-05T06:17:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=20555"},"modified":"2013-05-05T03:13:03","modified_gmt":"2013-05-05T07:13:03","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-112","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2013\/05\/05\/limerick-of-the-week-112\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (112)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to Tim James, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

The party was starting to hum
\nOn a fishing boat well-stocked with rum,
\nTill the captain\u2019s friend, drunk,
\nWith the sharks took a dunk.
\nNow he\u2019s known as the skipper\u2019s best chum.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

Someone’s limerick made me go hummm…
\nWhen I think of a frown on a bum,
\nMy mind goes to farce —
\nPainted lips on an arse
\nAnd a mouth ill-equipped to chew gum.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Steve Whitred<\/a> and Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, who jointly win a special Limerick Puzzle\/Repartee Award for this limerick exchange, which begins with Steve’s puzzle in multi-verse limerick form and ends with Will’s solution, also in multi-verse limerick form:<\/p>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

So this week when the rhyme word is hum
\nAnd I\u2019ve o\u2019er used \u2018cum\u2019, \u2018dum\u2019, \u2018thumb\u2019, and \u2018bum\u2019.
\nA conundrum I\u2019ll pose.
\nWill you solve it, who knows?
\nI suspect though, it\u2019s too tough for some.<\/p>\n

Now the gears in my head start to hum,
\nAs the clues for this puzzle forth come.
\nYou\u2019ve got 12 coins of gold,
\nBut there\u2019s one that is old.
\nIt\u2019s weight\u2019s off from the rest, by a crumb.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve a scale (not of music to hum).
\nIt\u2019s two pans on a chain, and it\u2019s plumb.
\nWith this scale weigh the gold
\n\u2018Till at last you behold
\nThe coin others are different from.<\/p>\n

If at this point you\u2019re all thinking hummm…,
\nHere\u2019s a clue to begin, don\u2019t be glum.
\nPlace some coins in each pan.
\nIf they balance you can
\nSafely say that it\u2019s not in that scrum.<\/p>\n

Since you now see this isn\u2019t ho-hum,
\nOne more thing, please don\u2019t think I\u2019m a bum.
\nThe odd coin may be light
\nOr just overweight, slight.
\nAnd three weighing\u2019s the goal. Good luck chum.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the method that I would employ:
\nChoose *any* two coins, Steve my boy…
\nTake one coin (your choice),
\nWeigh it avoirdupois,
\nAnd then measure the other in troy.<\/p>\n

No, no: please don\u2019t give me a beating.
\nI know that this method is cheating.
\nIf you\u2019d rather instead,
\nI\u2019ll try using my head…
\n(Quite a change from my usual bleating).<\/p>\n

\u2013 ahem \u2013<\/p>\n

Put six and six pieces of eight
\nOn the scales, and determine their weight.
\nYou\u2019ll notice one side
\nSlightly higher will ride:
\nThat\u2019s the side we\u2019ll be working with. Great:<\/p>\n

Take the coins from the light side, and see
\nHow they measure up, weighed three and three.
\nOnce again you\u2019ll behold
\nThat there\u2019s one tray of gold
\nSlightly lighter, comparatively.<\/p>\n

Now the answer\u2019s so clear it could bite one:
\nThe lighter half must have the right one.
\nSo compare one and one.
\nIf they\u2019re equal, you\u2019re done;
\nIf they\u2019re not, then you just choose the light one.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

(You can read Steve’s solution to his own puzzle here in prose form.<\/a>)<\/p>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Colleen Murphy<\/a>, Phyllis Sterling Smith a\/k\/a Granny Smith<\/a>, David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose<\/a>, Johanna Richmond, Sue Dulley, and Robert Schechter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Jane Shelton Hoffman: <\/p>\n

Beethoven first started to hum
\nAs a child when he still sucked his thumb.
\nAs he crawled on the floor,
\nHe’d come up with a score.
\nHis FIRST tune was “Dot dot dot dum.”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Colleen Murphy: <\/p>\n

My brother would constantly hum,
\nCrack knuckles, blow bubbles, and drum.
\nThen wonder why dating
\nWas so darned deflating,
\nAs girlfriends would leave when he’d come.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Phyllis Sterling Smith: <\/p>\n

Just as things were beginning to hum,
\nAlong came a fellow so dumb:
\nHe chose a fine cello
\nWith tone sweet and mellow.
\nWith pick he then started to strum.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Lefkovits: <\/p>\n

A fellow would constantly hum
\nThe chorus from “Under My Thumb.”
\nHe said, with a swagger,
\n“My moves are like Jagger;
\nJust see how I’m shaking my bum.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Johanna Richmond: <\/p>\n

To the dentist who\u2019d constantly hum
\nWhile poking and prodding her gum:
\nShe cried, \u201cHate to sound sore
\nBut just how much more
\nAnesthesia would make my ears numb?\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

The lobby was starting to hum.
\nReporters closed in for the scrum.
\nBut soon all were vexed
\nWhen “No comment” and “Next?”
\nWere the closest to answers they’d come.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Robert Schechter: <\/p>\n

My girlfriend would constantly hum
\nDuring sex, and it bothered me some.
\nOne day I asked why,
\nAnd she said with a sigh,
\n“I’ll sing you the words when I come.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to Tim James, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: The party was starting to hum On a fishing boat well-stocked with rum, Till the captain\u2019s friend, drunk, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,1983,65,42],"tags":[2525,2047,2281,2065,5009,5018,2046,2537,3342,3369,3167,3543,487,523],"class_list":["post-20555","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","tag-colleen-murphy","tag-david-lefkovits","tag-jane-shelton-hoffman","tag-johanna-richmond","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-phyllis-sterling-smith","tag-robert-schechter","tag-steve-whitred","tag-sue-dulley","tag-tim-james","tag-will-t-laughlin","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20555","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20555"}],"version-history":[{"count":68,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20555\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20697,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20555\/revisions\/20697"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20555"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20555"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20555"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}