{"id":19775,"date":"2013-03-24T00:09:49","date_gmt":"2013-03-24T04:09:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=19775"},"modified":"2013-03-30T02:12:43","modified_gmt":"2013-03-30T06:12:43","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-106","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2013\/03\/24\/limerick-of-the-week-106\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (106)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

Jeff Davis was angered to read
\nNot so much that the slaves had been freed,
\nBut that Unionists were
\nOn the To-line<\/em>\u2014O slur!\u2014
\nAnd secessionists only cc’d.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Sue Dulley and Marty McCullen, who tied to win this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

A student, while trying to read
\nIn the bathroom (the book was “Candide”)
\nHeard “Come play this game
\nTesting balance and aim!”
\nSo he put down his novel and Wii’d.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Marty McCullen:<\/p>\n

A fellow was trying to read
\nThe Bio of great Sammy Snead,
\nBut he would just stutter
\nWhen using the putter.
\nAt best he was fit to be teed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Ailsa McKillop, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award, occasionally given to a very clever multi-verse limerick. <\/p>\n

A fellow was trying to read
\nAnd make sense of instructions decreed
\nIn the cookbook: “With glove on
\n“Take joint from the oven.
\n“To now baste the meat you will need.”<\/p>\n

At your peril true meaning ignore.
\nDo not do what he did, I implore!
\nAt the critical point
\nHe took out the joint
\nAnd a rolling pin out of the drawer.<\/p>\n

With common sense no more than fleeting
\nAnd eager to improve on the eating,
\nIn mistaken belief
\nThis would tenderize beef,
\nHe gave it an out-and-out beating!<\/p>\n

So there is the beef, on its platter
\nMisshapen, askew (and much flatter.)
\nHe should at this point
\nWith its juices anoint
\nThe roast dinner \u2013 to “baste”, not to “batter”!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Edmund Conti, Will T. Laughlin<\/a>, Sue Dulley, Colleen Murphy<\/a>, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Phyllis Sterling Smith a\/k\/a Granny Smith<\/a>, David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose<\/a>, and Nelderini. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Edmund Conti: <\/p>\n

A fellow was trying to read
\nOf a man who was trying to breed
\nOn someone\u2019s behalf
\n(and here you can laugh)
\nIntercede? Yes indeed. Enter seed.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

The Bishop was trying to read
\nThe words of the Catholic Creed.
\nBut the words \u201cunum Deum\u201d
\nCame out, \u201cIam Gayum\u201d \u2013
\nA stunning confession indeed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

In a joke I once happened to read:
\nDescartes and a friend drank some mead.
\nSaid the friend: “One more, eh?”
\n“I think not,” said Ren\u00e9,
\nThen vanished with infinite speed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Colleen Murphy: <\/p>\n

My stepson was wanting to read,
\nAn abnormal desire indeed,
\nUntil I discovered
\nThe girls were uncovered.
\nSeems his \u201cbook\u201d met a less learned need.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jane Shelton Hoffman: <\/p>\n

A fellow was trying to read
\nThe book “What to Do When You’re Treed.”
\nHe looked down at the bear
\nAnd he thought, “Do I dare
\nAsk HIM for the glasses I need?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Johanna Richmond, who sends a “get well” limerick to our friend and fellow Limerick-Offer, Steve Whitred: <\/p>\n

\nDear Steve, I\u2019m so sorry to read
\nYou\u2019ve been ill — that’s a pity indeed.
\nWishing speedy relief;
\nHope your absence is brief
\nOr our lim\u2019rick-off might go to seed!\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Phyllis Sterling Smith: <\/p>\n

A farmer was trying to read
\nOf hybrids, a skill he might need.
\n“Two plants get together
\nBut will I know whether
\nEach seed will be glad to con-seed?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose: <\/p>\n

A woman was trying to read
\nThe stocks that may lag or may lead.
\nSaid she: “I don’t care
\nFor the bull or the bear,
\nAs long as I’m in the stampede.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Nelderini:<\/p>\n

\nA woman was trying to read
\nThe number of caplets she\u2019d need
\nTo clear her congestion.
\n\u201c\u2018How bany?\u2019s da question
\nTo stob wit da cough an\u2019 da sneed!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: Jeff Davis was angered to read Not so much that the slaves had been freed, But that Unionists […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[3559,2525,2047,2558,3073,2281,2065,5009,5018,3223,3545,2046,3369,3543,487,523],"class_list":["post-19775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","tag-ailsa-mckillop","tag-colleen-murphy","tag-david-lefkovits","tag-edmund-conti","tag-jamie-hutchinson","tag-jane-shelton-hoffman","tag-johanna-richmond","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-marty-mccullen","tag-nelderini","tag-phyllis-sterling-smith","tag-sue-dulley","tag-will-t-laughlin","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19775","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19775"}],"version-history":[{"count":66,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19775\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20037,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19775\/revisions\/20037"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19775"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19775"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19775"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}