It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. <\/p>\n
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose<\/a>, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n A man who’d been recently canned Congratulations to Steve Whitred<\/a> who wins the Special Super Bowl-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n The Super Bowl\u2019s finally here. Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n A man who was recently canned And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jim Gallagher<\/a>, Johanna Richmond, Elaine Spall<\/a>, Edmund Conti, Jamie Hutchinson, Steve Whitred<\/a>, Bruce Niedt<\/a>, Sue Dulley, and Diane Groothuis. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n Jim Gallagher: <\/p>\n My cat cannot bear food that\u2019s canned, Johanna Richmond:<\/p>\n A senior home worker was canned Elaine Spall:<\/p>\n Chef Ramsay, when served something canned Edmund Conti: <\/p>\n A fellow was recently canned Jamie Hutchinson:<\/p>\n A limericker recently canned Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n To paraphrase Donald, \u201cYou\u2019re canned!\u201d Bruce Niedt:<\/p>\n Says Charlie, who’s recently canned, Sue Dulley: <\/p>\n A gambler was recently canned Diane Groothuis: <\/p>\n An elephant had to be canned Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n
\nWas steamed to be dealt a bad hand.
\nAfter stewing inside,
\nHe went out & got fried,
\nAnd ended up pickled as planned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nSeems the hype has been building all year.
\nAnd while some think the game
\nIs exceedingly lame,
\nThey\u2019ll use any excuse to drink beer.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nHad squeezed a gal’s mammary gland.
\nHe’d tried to insist
\nThat he had just missed.
\n“I thought I was shaking her hand.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nOut of season, unseasoned or bland.
\nShe won\u2019t have a nibble
\nOr soup\u00e7on of kibble.
\nBut gophers are gruesomely grand.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nFor thoughtfully lending a hand
\nTo the ladies \u2014 their files
\nHe kept in two piles:
\n\u201cStill stressed\u201d and \u201csufficiently manned.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nIn a rest’rant he once thought was grand,
\nShowed his utter disdain
\nUsing words quite profane.
\nBoth the language and food should be banned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nFor being too high paid a hand.
\nAnd as he was fired,
\nA new man was hired.
\nAnd that\u2019s how a Walmart is manned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nAs a stock clerk had one last demand:
\nShe said she would need her
\nHandheld barcode reader
\nTo ensure that her poetry scanned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nPointing finger, mock pistol in hand.
\nIt\u2019s no TV show lout
\nThat he\u2019s talking about,
\nBut his face in the mirror all tanned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\n“It’s a fate that I do understand,
\nThough my hour is darkest,
\nI once worked for Star-Kist —
\nWe tuna are much in demand.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nAnd banned from the MGM Grand.
\nHe made all his wins
\nMasquerading as twins,
\nWhile holding a queen in each hand.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nFor refusing to go on the stand.
\nHe embarrassed the clown,
\nDisappointed the town,
\nAnd squirted green slime at the band.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n