{"id":18568,"date":"2013-02-03T01:28:55","date_gmt":"2013-02-03T05:28:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=18568"},"modified":"2013-02-03T01:39:06","modified_gmt":"2013-02-03T05:39:06","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-99","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2013\/02\/03\/limerick-of-the-week-99\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (99)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a><\/p>\n

Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

A mother steps out in the hall
\nAs she breast-feeds her teenager Paul.
\nWell aware of the glares
\nAnd disparaging stares,
\nShe declares, “Hey, you can’t wean ’em all!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who also wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for a different limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

If a specter is haunting your hall
\nOr a wraith has you climbing the wall,
\nThere’s a Ghostbuster crew
\nWith a liquified goo
\nThat will dampen your spirits\u2014just call!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose<\/a>, Jamie Hutchinson, Chris Doyle, Tim James, Ann Martin, Johanna Richmond, and Sue Dulley. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Jane Shelton Hoffman: <\/p>\n

A young thief was attempting to haul
\nThe loot he’d obtained at the mall.
\nBut he wasn’t too wise
\nCause police know that guys
\nWon’t be pregnant and wearing a shawl.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose: <\/p>\n

Said a corpulent fellow named Hall,
\nWho was portlier than he was tall:
\n“It’s a myst’ry to me
\nHow I came by E.D.;
\nIn fact, I can’t grasp it at all.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jamie Hutchinson:<\/p>\n

The mayor was out in the hall,
\nGetting high on his back by the wall.
\n\u201cTo judge from his manner,\u201d
\nSuggested the planner,
\n\u201cHe won\u2019t try to stop herb-and-sprawl.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Chris Doyle: <\/p>\n

A chorine who performs in a hall
\nIn Paree has no booty at all.
\nShe’s a kicking machine
\nAnd a dancer who’s lean.
\n(In the can can, your can can be small.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Larry Craig entered Congress\u2019s hall,
\nBacking right-wing designs above all.
\nBut it stopped his advance
\nWhen he took a wide stance.
\nHis career then went into a stall.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ann Martin: <\/p>\n

A student stepped into the hall
\nFor he claimed he must heed Nature’s call;
\nBut he whipped out his cell,
\nPhoned a friend: “Can you tell
\nThe precise date of dear old Rome’s fall?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Johanna Richmond:<\/p>\n

An elderly bride in the hall
\nMarried \u201cStretchy Tri-testicle Saul.\u201d
\n\u2019Twas her last day \u2014 they say
\nOne went down the wrong way;
\nWell, at least she died having a ball.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

I’ve given up pacing the hall
\nAnd now I’ll just stare at the wall.
\nI have no Aleve
\nTo help me conceive
\nA verse fit to share with you all.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: A mother steps out in the hall As she breast-feeds her teenager Paul. Well aware of the glares […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,1983,65,42],"tags":[3441,3116,2047,3073,2281,2065,5009,5018,3369,3167,487,523],"class_list":["post-18568","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","tag-ann-martin","tag-chris-doyle","tag-david-lefkovits","tag-jamie-hutchinson","tag-jane-shelton-hoffman","tag-johanna-richmond","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-sue-dulley","tag-tim-james","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18568","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18568"}],"version-history":[{"count":56,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18568\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18726,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18568\/revisions\/18726"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18568"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18568"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18568"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}