It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. <\/p>\n
Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n
A woman would always come clean
\nWith the truth to the men she had seen:
\n“I’ll say Yes but\u2014don’t hate me\u2014
\nThe best way to date me
\nIs to measure my carbon 14.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\nCongratulations to Bob Dvorak, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n
A woman who hated to clean
\nChecked the room of her typical teen,
\nWhere she found seven plates,
\nPeanuts, walnuts, and dates,
\nAnd some ham, biologically green.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nAnd congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order): Johanna Richmond, Scott Crowder, Chris Doyle, Kathy El-Assal, Edmund Conti, Kirk Miller, Steve Whitred<\/a>, Phyllis Sterling Smith a\/k\/a Granny Smith<\/a>, Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n
Johanna Richmond:<\/p>\n
A president chose to come clean
\nIn a red, white and very blue scene,
\nAnd the subtext was this:
\nHere’s my rear for a kiss,
\nGOP, if you think I’m still green.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\nScott Crowder: <\/p>\n
A woman who hated to clean,
\nWas a sex-hungry, lovin\u2019 machine.
\nAnd the men she\u2019d been dating,
\nAre anxiously waiting
\nFor someone to find a vaccine.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nChris Doyle: <\/p>\n
A leatherneck never comes clean
\nWhen he romps around town as a queen
\nIn a dress and high heels
\nGetting liquored-up SEALs
\nTo unwittingly do a marine.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\nKathy El-Assal:<\/p>\n
A librarian liked her books clean,
\nPreferring her pages pristine.
\nAs for S&M porn,
\nShe only had scorn
\nFifty shades of bad writing? Obscene!<\/p><\/blockquote>\nEdmund Conti: <\/p>\n
Said a fellow who hated to clean
\nThe gunk off his new guillotine,
\n\u201cIt\u2019s a pain in the neck
\nCleaning all of this dreck
\nJust to peel a small ripe tangerine. <\/p><\/blockquote>\nKirk Miller:<\/p>\n
A comedian planned to come clean
\nIn his stand-up. \u201cMy future routine
\nWon\u2019t have cussing from me
\n\u2018Cause my humor,\u201d said he,
\n\u201cUnlike kids, should be heard, not obscene.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\nSteve Whitred:<\/p>\n
A fellow who hated to clean
\nHas created a washing routine.
\nNow he schedules each bath
\nUsing log\u2019rithmic math
\nSo they\u2019re fewer and farther between.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\nPhyllis Sterling Smith: <\/p>\n
A young actress who wished to be “clean”
\nWas embarrassed to read on the screen
\nThat it rated an X
\nJust because she had sex
\nIn a scene that was seen as obscene!\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\nCongratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n
In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n