{"id":17913,"date":"2013-01-06T01:32:58","date_gmt":"2013-01-06T05:32:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=17913"},"modified":"2013-01-06T01:51:23","modified_gmt":"2013-01-06T05:51:23","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-95","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2013\/01\/06\/limerick-of-the-week-95\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (95)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

A woman had made a long list
\nOf scents that were hard to resist.
\nShe doused and she sprayed,
\nBut never got laid
\nCause a bath was a step she had missed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins the Special New Year’s-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick: <\/p>\n

New Year\u2019s Eve is a time to reflect
\nOn the things we would like to perfect,
\nSo I vow, here and now,
\nIf my lim\u2019ricks don\u2019t wow,
\nThen at least they will leave you erect.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This week, we have a Facebook Friends’ Choice Award tie between Jane Shelton Hoffman and Craig Dykstra. So congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, whose scent-filled limerick gets this additional recognition. And congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who co-won this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

The guests had been checked off the list.
\nVows were read, bride and groom had been kissed.
\nSaid the priest: “With these kisses,
\nYou’re legally Mrs.
\nAs of now, you are hereby dis-Miss’d.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy<\/a>, Konrad Schwoerke, Chris Doyle, Steve Whitred<\/a>,
\nJamie Hutchinson, and Doug Harris. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Colleen Murphy: <\/p>\n

A five-year-old read through his list
\nAnd noted what Santa had missed:
\n\u201cNo laptop computer,
\nNor motorized scooter.\u201d
\nThen thought, \u201cDoes he really exist?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konrad Schwoerke: <\/p>\n

As Santa was checking his list,
\nHe discovered a thing he had missed.
\n\u201cFinanciers, as a whole,
\nShould receive only coal.\u201d
\nRead the latest North Poll \u2014 folks are pissed!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Chris Doyle:<\/p>\n

Chubby Checker was making a list
\nOf the groupies he’d more than just kissed.
\nHe grew wistful recalling
\nOne evening of balling–
\nHis very first Peppermint Tryst.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred: <\/p>\n

There\u2019s a new actuarial list
\nFor some claims that will soon be dismissed.
\nIn fact, now we are told
\nThe disease \u201cgetting old\u201d
\nIs among those we know pre-exist.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jamie Hutchinson:<\/p>\n

Said a doc, “At the top of my list\u2014
\nMy greatest success, I insist\u2014
\nWas the time, with my knife,
\nWhen I saved a young life
\nBy removing a man from a cyst.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Doug Harris: <\/p>\n

2012 left your body abused —
\nCholesterol-ridden and boozed.
\nCan\u2019t invent evolutions
\nOf new resolutions?
\nUse last year\u2019s — still wrapped and un-used!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: A woman had made a long list Of scents that were hard to resist. She doused and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[3116,2525,2690,3362,3073,2281,2065,2538,5009,5018,3342,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17913"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17913"}],"version-history":[{"count":88,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17913\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18042,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17913\/revisions\/18042"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17913"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17913"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17913"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}