I’m introducing a new regular feature today — Weird News Snark.\u00a0 How regular?\u00a0 That totally depends on news craziness … and Mad Kane laziness.\u00a0<\/p>\n
So let’s get started:<\/p>\n
And you think you’ve<\/strong> got mother-in-law problems?<\/em><\/p>\n Private’s platoon sergeant is his mother-in-law, too.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n At long last, a good reason to\u00a0attend your reunion.<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n ORONO, Maine \u2014\u00a0 Fifty years after taking school sprit to new heights with a paint brush, a University of Maine graduate has received a pardon from the school administration.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Where’s the beef?<\/em><\/p>\n FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. (AP) – Guessing about the contents of a cow’s stomach is a thing of the past for University of Arkansas researchers – all they have to do is reach in and take a sample. The university’s Animal Science Department has surgically implanted 4-inch-wide tubes, called cannulas, in the sides of 12 cows.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Yeah, but what were they smoking?<\/em><\/p>\n KANSAS CITY, Kansas (AP) – More than 1,680 guitar players turned out, tuned up and took part in what organizers say was a world record rendition of Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water” – a song that was the first many of them ever learned.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n “Creative” U.S. Lawyers Have Nothing On The Germans.<\/em><\/p>\n BAUTZEN, Germany (AP) – Three German teenagers have been spared paying hefty damages after a court ruled it could not prove an ostrich farmer’s claim that their festive firecrackers made one of his birds impotent.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n This never happened when Jimmy Carter was president.<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n SALT LAKE CITY (AP) – A woman was held up during a fill-up. The woman was pumping gasoline Sunday morning when a man stuck something in her back, told her it was a gun and ordered her to start filling up his sport utility vehicle instead of her own car…<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Freedom’s\u00a0for the birds.<\/em><\/p>\n