{"id":15971,"date":"2012-09-16T00:03:32","date_gmt":"2012-09-16T04:03:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=15971"},"modified":"2012-09-16T00:13:34","modified_gmt":"2012-09-16T04:13:34","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-79","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2012\/09\/16\/limerick-of-the-week-79\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (79)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose<\/a> who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:<\/p>\n

A woman was planning a spread
\n\u201cFor the birthday,\u201d she said, \u201cof my Fred.
\nHe\u2019s a sorry schlemiel
\nWithout much appeal,
\nBut surprisingly useful in bed.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Susan Taylor<\/a>, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

A rich man was planning a spread
\nOf ads full of lies to be read.
\n\u201cWe\u2019ll swing the election!
\nEvade all detection!
\nIt\u2019s free speech, the High Court has said.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins this special Limerick Repartee Award for her limerick written in response to Craig Dykstra’s Limerick of the Week winner from last week. To fully appreciate Johanna’s verse, you need to read Craig’s and Johanna’s limericks back to back. So here they are:<\/p>\n

Craig Dykstra:<\/p>\n

The bed buyer started to preen,
\nThough the mattress guy\u2019d said something mean:
\nHe had looked at her mass
\nAnd the size of her ass
\nAnd said \u201cMadam, you\u2019re fit for a queen!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Johanna Richmond:<\/p>\n

A woman, caressing her spread,
\nTo the squirt at the Sealy store said,
\n\u201cQueen indeed, but I fear
\nYou can\u2019t satisfy, dear:
\nExtra firm\u2019s what I like in my bed.\u201d <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Carolyn Henly, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Daniel Ari<\/a>, Jamie Hutchinson, and Colleen Murphy<\/a>. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

A fellow was planning a spread;
\n\u201cA barbecue\u2019s coming!\u201d he said.
\nBut a shortage of beef
\nGave him all kinds of grief.
\nNow no one can find Mr. Ed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Carolyn Henly:<\/p>\n

A woman was planning a spread,
\nBut she wasn\u2019t quite right in the head.
\nThe theme of her gig
\nWas \u201cA Night in the Brig.\u201d
\nShe served nothing but water and bread.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jane Shelton Hoffman: <\/p>\n

While a rancher was checking his spread,
\nHe found a lone cow in a shed.
\n“The bull is out wooing.
\nI don’t feel like screwing.
\nI really don’t want to be bred!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Daniel Ari: (For an extra laugh check out his limerick link.)<\/p>\n

I, Daniel, am planning a spread
\nOf humus, falafel and bread;
\nAnd since my own pate
\nIs smooth as a plate,
\nI\u2019ll serve it on top of my head.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jamie Hutchinson: <\/p>\n

When a shepherd boy laid out a spread
\nFor his lover, she turned tail and fled.
\n\u201cWhat was it, my pet,
\nThat spoiled our duet?
\nThe haggis? Or something I said?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Colleen Murphy: <\/p>\n

A dingbat was planning a spread,
\nBut mixed up her plans in her head.
\nShe mashed the tomatoes
\nAnd sliced raw potatoes,
\nThen stuffed the fresh duck in the bread.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Congratulations to David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse: A woman was planning a spread \u201cFor the birthday,\u201d she said, \u201cof my Fred. He\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,1983,65],"tags":[3197,2525,2690,3023,2047,3073,2281,2065,5009,5018,3196,3167,487,523],"class_list":["post-15971","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","tag-carolyn-henly","tag-colleen-murphy","tag-craig-dykstra","tag-daniel-ari","tag-david-lefkovits","tag-jamie-hutchinson","tag-jane-shelton-hoffman","tag-johanna-richmond","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-susan-taylor","tag-tim-james","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15971","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15971"}],"version-history":[{"count":62,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15971\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16058,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15971\/revisions\/16058"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15971"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15971"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15971"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}