{"id":13,"date":"2006-08-08T07:56:44","date_gmt":"2006-08-08T11:56:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2006\/08\/08\/working-stiffed\/"},"modified":"2010-03-02T04:07:41","modified_gmt":"2010-03-02T08:07:41","slug":"working-stiffed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2006\/08\/08\/working-stiffed\/","title":{"rendered":"Working Stiffed"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Finding a new job can be a daunting challenge. But if you follow my simple 21-step plan, you&#8217;ll soon be battling cranky alarm clocks, rush-hour traffic, and the &#8220;living for the weekend&#8221; daily grind.<\/p>\n<p>1. Lose job.<\/p>\n<p>2. Panic, freak out, and turn into a pulsating blob of hysteria. CAUTION: It&#8217;s best to do this at home &#8212; you&#8217;ll be wanting that reference.<\/p>\n<p>3. Torture everyone you&#8217;ve ever met with your tale of woe. Bitch about your former boss, your boss&#8217; boss, your lousy luck, the manipulative coworker who stole your job, the economy, and, of course, the world as we know it. Seriously consider buying a voodoo doll.<\/p>\n<p>4. Perfect the art of sleeping late, parading about in slatternly garb, and doing absolutely nothing. Tell your spouse you spent the entire week working on your resume. When spouse says &#8220;Let me have a look,&#8221; say you&#8217;re still fine-tuning it.<\/p>\n<p>5. Start working on resume. &#8230; (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/workingstiffed.html\">Working Stiffed is continued here.<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Finding a new job can be a daunting challenge. But if you follow my simple 21-step plan, you&#8217;ll soon be battling cranky alarm clocks, rush-hour traffic, and the &#8220;living for the weekend&#8221; daily grind. 1. Lose job. 2. Panic, freak out, and turn into a pulsating blob of hysteria. CAUTION: It&#8217;s best to do this [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,27,78,8,29,32,4],"tags":[4912,722,1147,1148,1146,1149,1150,1145,4904],"class_list":["post-13","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-business-humor","category-how-to-humor","category-humor-columns","category-money-humor","category-self-help-humor","category-social-satire","category-workplace-humor","tag-business-humor","tag-career-humor","tag-employment-humor","tag-job-hunting-humor","tag-job-loss-humor","tag-office-humor-column","tag-unemployment-advice","tag-work-humor","tag-workplace-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1756,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13\/revisions\/1756"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}