MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

We’re in the middle of a financial crisis that affects almost everyone.  So I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks and haiku (senryu) about our Wall Street woes.  First, my limerick:

I shudder when opening mail,
And my sinking accounts make me wail.
I would sure like to beat
Up those guys on the Street,
But I fear that I can’t afford bail.

And now my haiku (senryu):

Financial vultures
First gobble up our assets,
Then demand dessert.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about Wall Street woes. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until October 3rd to post it.

Technorati Tags: Wall Street Woes, Financial Verse, Writing Prompts, Money Limerick, Finance Haiku, Economic Meltdown, Economy Humor

When I was in elementary school, I was really bad at two things — art and athletics.  Come to think of it,  I’m still bad at them.  And that leads me to this week’s alternative poetry prompt themes: school and/or things you aren’t good at.

First, a limerick about my art prowess … or lack thereof:

Please do not make me paint. Have a heart!
I was awful at art from the start.
Flunking finger paint’s rare,
But I did it. So there!
Use a house-painting pro and be smart.

And now my unathletic haiku (senryu):

I hope for my name,
As the girls pick their teammates.
Next to last again.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about school and/or things you aren’t good at. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until September 5th to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants 

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your verse about school and/or things you aren’t good at in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here. 

Technorati Tags: Art Limerick, Gym Class Poem, House Painting Humor, School Humor, Elementary School Art, Writing Prompts, Teammates, Athletics

A new limerick, haiku, and senryu prompt (at long last) whose theme is jewelry, crafts, and engagements.  First, my limerick:

Engagement Bling
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“I’m engaged,” said the gal to her mom.
“I’m in love and I’m marrying Tom.”
“But I don’t see a ring,”
Said her mom.  “Get some bling.
Until then, I intend to stay calm.”

And now my haiku (senryu):

Craft show earrings
Once adorned the riverfront
And now grace my lobes.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about jewelry, crafts, or engagements. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until September 5th to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants     

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your jewelry, crafts, and engagement-related verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here. 

Technorati Tags: Engagement Ring, Jewelry Humor, Earrings Haiku, Writing Prompts, Haiku Prompts, Crafts Fair, Mom Limerick, Love Humor, Fashion Verse

Sorry for the delay, but though my cast is finally off, I’m still having wrist problems.

Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is vacations. First, my limerick, which was inspired by my husband Mark:

Vacation Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My husband is swimming outdoors.
I expect he’ll be back when it pours,
Which it threatens to do
Ev’ry day, so he’s blue.
Yes, vacations are rain guarantors.

And now my haiku (senryu):

I’m on vacation,
Yet here I am writing verse.
Give it a rest, brain.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about vacations. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until August 1st to post it.

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your vacation-related verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Vacation Verse, Swimming Humor, Weather Poem, Writing Prompts, Rain Limerick, Writing Haiku

Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is blogging. First, my limerick, which was inspired by The Ominous Comma’s request for humorous advice for new bloggers:

Dear Newbie
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Newbie, I feel for your plight —
You are anxious for links to your site.
But please do not send
Link requests, when you’ve penned
A mere pittance of blog posts, all right?

And now my haiku (senryu):

My blog bullies me,
Demanding ideas, words, wit.
This will have to do.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about blogging. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until July 18th to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your blogging-related verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Newbie Bloggers, Blogging Advice, Link Humor, Blogging Verse, Writing Prompts, Advice Limerick

Sorry for the delay (one wrist is broken and I’m having a bad carpal tunnel attack in the other). Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is food and drink. First, my limerick:

There once was a fellow named Dwight
Who fought over gin bills each night.
He was covered with scars
From his battles in bars.
His lesson? Don’t fight while you’re tight.

And now my haiku (senryu):

Brandy with choc’late,
French champagne with peach ice cream,
Water with asp’rin.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about food and drink. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have ten days to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants   

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your food and drink verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Bar Fight Humor, Writing Prompts, Food Poem, Drink Verse

Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is furniture and furnishings. First, my limerick:

Quick Story
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Quick story,” my husband declares.
“It’s short — I’m not kidding,” he swears.
But I know that he’s wrong.
He’ll be witty, but long.
How I wish I could find us some chairs.

And now two haiku (senryu):

Dad climbs into bed.
His poodle growls in protest.
Their turf war begins.

Sixty-year-old chair,
still covered in plastic,
protected from life.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about furniture and furnishings. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

(Note: My poems were inspired by these three prompts: “being told a story,” “pets,” and “father / find.”)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your furniture and furnishings verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Furniture Verse, Furnishings Humor, Husband Humor, Short Story, Poodle Haiku, Writing Prompts

Sorry for my late posting. As I mentioned in my last post, I recently broke my wrist.

Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is sleep and insomnia. First, my limerick:

Sleepless In Bayside
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My husband can catnap at will,
And my jealous reaction is shrill.
My insomnia’s bad —
Just can’t help getting mad,
Cuz his snores can be heard in Brazil.

And now my haiku or senryu:

I watch my husband
Sleep hour after hour.
What is his secret?

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about sleep and insomnia. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

(Note: My poems were inspired by these three prompts: “catnap, “my nights” and “when I watch you.”)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants  

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your sleep and insomnia verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Sleep Poetry, Insomnia Verse, Husband Humor, Writing Prompts

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is dates and dating. First, my limerick:

The gal was enjoying her date
Till her escort became quite irate.
He assaulted a waiter,
Then said, “See ya later.”
I suppose it was something he ate.

And now my dating-related haiku:

His seeing eye dog
Led the man to her table:
A double blind date.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about dates and dating. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have two weeks to post it.

(Note: My limerick was inspired in part by Sunday Scribblings’ “quitting” prompt.)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants  

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your dating verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Dating Limerick, Date Haiku, Dining Humor, Food Humor, Waiter Verse, Writing Prompts.

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is warnings and/or caution. First, my limerick:

Please be careful when closing that door.
If it hits you, you’re bound to be sore.
My hand is still numb
From its catching my thumb,
And I’m thinking of suing this store.

And now my warning-related haiku:

Storm clouds fill the sky
as walkers heed their warning
while birds cheer them on.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about warnings and/or caution. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

(Note: My limerick was inspired in part by Sunday Scribblings’ “sore” prompt and Inspire Me Thursday’s “door” prompt.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your warnings and/or caution verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Cautionary Verse, Warning Humor, Injury Poem,  Legal Limerick, Litigation Poem,  Nature Haiku, Shopping Accident, Health Poetry,  Writing Prompts

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is email and/or spam. First, my limerick:

I’m out of the office right now.
Do I hate answ’ring email? And how!
Missed your missive? I’m glad,
So I won’t say I’m sad.
Pester some other worker-bee. Ciao!

And now my three spam-related haiku:

Suffocating spam
Pours into my computer,
Drowning out meaning.

Virulent spammers
Take over my computer,
Devouring its core.

My email pours in,
The meaningful lost,
Strangled by spam.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about email and/or spam. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your email-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Email Limerick, Spam Verse, Email Hell Humor, Writing Prompts, Career Humor

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is dogs. First, my limerick:

Dear Puppy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear puppy, how long will it be
Till you learn where it’s kosher to pee?
They said you were bright,
But there’s no end in sight
To your accidents. Please try a tree.

And now my dogs haiku:

She comes between us,
Foiling our would-be embrace.
Dogged chaperone.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about dogs. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your dog-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Dog Verse, Puppy Poetry, Puppy Love, Writing Prompts, Pet Poems

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is temper. First, my limerick:

Ode to An Ill-Tempered Felon
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A felonious fellow named Mort
Went to jail cuz his temper was short.
He assaulted a mime,
Committing his crime
(And his tort) with a bottle of Port.

And now my temper haiku:

Losing his temper,
He screamed, cursed, and hurled books.
I guess he found it.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about temper. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

(Note: You may have noticed that my limerick contains some legal jargon. For more on poems containing specialized jargon, check out Read Write Poem.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your temper-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Bad Temper Humor, Legal Jargon Verse, Writing Prompts, Felon Humor, Assault Poetry, Tort Humor, Legalise Limerick

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is health. First, my limerick:

Maladjusted Men
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Maladjusted men sometimes say, “Doc, 
Chiropractic is naught but a crock. 
Your adjustments don’t work, 
You’re a sick, spineless jerk, 
And I’ll sue till you’re broke and in hock!”

And now my handy haiku:

My musical hands,
Stricken by carpal tunnel,
Betrayed by my wrists.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about health. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your health-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Chiropractic Humor, Health Limerick, Adjustments, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, Writing Prompts

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is relatives. (Thanks to Read Write Poem’s aunt prompt, which inspired this broader theme including any family member.) First, my limerick:

Crazy Aunts
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Crazy aunt in your fam’ly? Let’s see:
Does she scoff at conventions with glee?
Fail to act quite her age?
Give advice strangely sage?
In my fam’ly, the crazy aunt’s me.

And now my haiku:

He made an offer
That I just could not refuse:
Marital bliss.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about a relative. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have two whole weeks!  Why? Because I still haven’t started my tax return.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your family-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Family Limerick, Relatives Haiku, Writing Prompts, Family Verse, Aunt Poetry, Funny Relatives

Here in the U.S., tax return day (April 15th) is looming. So today’s limerick and haiku theme is taxes and tax returns or, if you prefer, forms that drive you nuts. First, my limerick:

Taxing Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My records are scattered.  Oh dear!
And tax filing day’s almost here.
My receipts are all over –
Some eaten by Rover.
I’m destined for prison, I fear.

And now my haiku:

Whether you owe cash
Or are due a tax refund
Filing is taxing.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about taxes and tax returns and/or forms that drive you nuts. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

1. paisley
2. Noah the Great
3 Tumblewords
4. XBox Wife
5. Robert

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your tax-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Tax Return Humor, IRS Poem, Writing Prompts, U.S. Taxes, April 15th Humor, Tax Refunds, Money Limerick, Annoying Forms

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is poems about poems or, if you prefer, poems about writing. First, my limerick about writing haiku:

Ode To The Haiku
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s seventeen-syllable verse —
Maybe less — yes it has to be terse.
What a challenge to do —
This form called haiku,
Whose brevity’s blessing and curse.

And here’s a pair of haiku about poetry, the first about writing limericks, the second about poetry writing in general:

Anapestic twists,
AABBA rhyme scheme.
Add wit and you’re home.

Ideas, thoughts, fragments
Of inspiration surge forth.
Poetry is born.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about poetry and/or writing in general. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your poetry-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Limerick About Haiku, Poetry Poems,  Haiku About Limericks, Writing Prompts

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is yards and/or gardens. First, my limerick: 

I admit that I’m bad with a rake,
And disposing of leaves makes me quake.
So that pile—I ignored it,
But then was rewarded
With saplings—benign neglect’s wake.

And here’s my haiku: 

Milk, juice, chicken breasts
Plunged into backyard snow drifts:
My fridge on the fritz.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about yards and/or gardens. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

NOTE: This post was inspired in part by Read Write Poem’s tree prompt and Sunday Scribblings’ rooted prompt.

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your yard and/or garden-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Gardening Humor, Trees and Plantings, Benign Neglect, Kitchen Verse, Refrigerator Poetry, Fridge Poems, Backyard Snow

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is age and/or life stages. First, my limerick:

“Let’s begin at the top of the page,”
Said the coach to the gals on the stage.
“You’re supposed to be teens.
You should know what that means.
So I’m begging you—please—act your age.”

And here’s my haiku:

Cranky digestion
Recalcitrant intestines
Aging wastefully.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about age and/or life stages. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your age-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Age Humor, Digestion Humor, Teens, Acting Limerick, Theater Humor, Theatre Verse, Writing Prompts,

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is walking. First, my limerick:

Ode To A New York City Walk Signal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh WALK light, you change way too fast.
Your pedestrian green doesn’t last.
You force me to run
Cross the street, which ain’t fun.
So thanks for this cumbersome cast.

And now, my walking-related haiku:

Solitary stroll
To escape the telephone.
Cell phone outsmarts me.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about walking. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

NOTE: My Ode To A New York City Walk Signal limerick is an apostrophe.  And no, I’m not referring to a punctuation mark.  Miss Rumphius tells us that an “apostrophe is a poem which directly addresses a person or thing that is generally absent.” So I thought I’d address one to a walk signal that’s tormented my husband and me for years.

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your walking-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Walking Humor, Pedestrians, Traffic Lights, Poetry Prompts, Cell Phones, Solitude, Traffic Signals, Poetry Forms, Apostrophe