A Squirrely Lesson

Being a feminist, even a moderate feminist like me, can make it tough to dodge duties unsuited to the squeamish. In my case, squirrel removal.

Like most people, I prefer my squirrels outdoors. So I wasn’t exactly pleased when a squirrel decided to invade my turf. One morning last winter, when I was barely awake and shuffling down our basement stairs, something with a bushy tail flashed past me, mere inches from my toes. So I ask you, what’s a feminist to do? Yell hysterically? Scream for help? Well, … yes. I also scrambled up the steps, slammed the door, and told myself the squirrel would find its own way out.

For the next few hours I wondered what my squirrel was up to. I even tried to talk myself into marching downstairs and facing him down. Or creeping downstairs and checking things out. Or opening the cellar door just a crack, peering down the steps, and shutting the door fast before the squirrel became suspicious.

What kind of feminist was I, I asked myself, as I paced a floor above the intruder. Surely Gloria Steinem would stand her ground against a tiny rodent. Thank goodness I wasn’t famous enough to be a Rush Limbaugh target. “Femi-Nazi hypocritical wimp Madeleine Begun Kane is ascared of a wee little squirrel,” he’d surely say if he knew I existed. … (A Squirrely Lesson is continued here.)

UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!

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15 Responses to “A Squirrely Lesson”

  1. kailani says:

    Thank you for submitting this post to the Carnival of Family Life! The edition will be published on Monday.

    We don’t have wild squirrels around here but I do think they’re cute . . . as long as they stay outside!

  2. madkane says:

    Thanks! You might also avoid getting in their way during mating season.

  3. pinkdiary808.com » Carnival of Family Life #26 says:

    […] Furry Friends Madeleine shares her tale about her battle with a squirrel in A Squirrely Lesson posted at Mad Kane’s Humor Blog. Mad is always good for a laugh! […]

  4. The Sam and BeckyBoo Show » Carnival of the Mundane XXIII says:

    […] Mad Kane would be all too willing to trade her role as Pest Control Officer for Nance’s, should she be willing. I sense a 3 martini lunch convening soon to discuss transition (or at least swap war stories). […]

  5. Menstrual Poetry says:

    […] Madeleine Begun Kane presents another hilarious post, A Squirrely Lesson. My personal favorite part of the post that I must highlight: What kind of feminist was I, I asked myself, as I paced a floor above the intruder. Surely Gloria Steinem would stand her ground against a tiny rodent. Thank goodness I wasn’t famous enough to be a Rush Limbaugh target. “Femi-Nazi hypocritical wimp Madeleine Begun Kane is ascared of a wee little squirrel,” he’d surely say if he knew I existed. That post, as well as so many, equally as hilarious, others can be found at Mad Kane’s Humor Blog. […]

  6. Rene Foran says:

    Though their appearance is startling, rodents of the four legged variety are less dangerous than those with two legs in the long run.

  7. madkane says:

    Thanks everyone for your comments!

  8. Strange how a certain queeziness canot be denied – feminist or male wimp! I get to cleanup when the cat’s sick and hubby gets the spiders! I think that’s a good trade and no one needs to feel wimpy! A great write!

  9. Nanka says:

    Lovely Squirrely Lessons and you nearly exposed me in your write here!! My fears match yours but they are so adorable :) (because I did not encounter them indoors) LOL!!

  10. Old Ollie says:

    I Don’t feed birds – the red squirrels swarm the feeder…and then move in! Funny tale!

  11. Kodjo Deynoo says:

    I kept thinking of what to write, and it came down to this, I did hide as well, but then just to show off to my better half I did try and master some courage how long it last, God inside I am trimbling

  12. madkane says:

    Thanks everyone for your interesting and kind comments.

  13. The Friday Forgotten says:

    Thank you for visiting The Friday Forgotten and linking your post. Your imagination and creativity should never lie dusty in a dark corner of your blog. We are happy to help clear away the cobwebs.

    This story is funny and reminds me of a time we too had a squirrel issue alas we accindentally killed it with a couch. It was a very national lampoon moment.

  14. madkane says:

    Thanks FF! I love the image of killing a squirrel with couch. It sounds so strange!

  15. cheryl says:

    O I feel for you Madeleine. I love your tale of the squirrel. I presently have two very evil ones that have chased away the black ones, and I’d trade them anytime. Wishes you don’t run into one of those!