Working Stiffed
Finding a new job can be a daunting challenge. But if you follow my simple 21-step plan, you’ll soon be battling cranky alarm clocks, rush-hour traffic, and the “living for the weekend” daily grind.
1. Lose job.
2. Panic, freak out, and turn into a pulsating blob of hysteria. CAUTION: It’s best to do this at home — you’ll be wanting that reference.
3. Torture everyone you’ve ever met with your tale of woe. Bitch about your former boss, your boss’ boss, your lousy luck, the manipulative coworker who stole your job, the economy, and, of course, the world as we know it. Seriously consider buying a voodoo doll.
4. Perfect the art of sleeping late, parading about in slatternly garb, and doing absolutely nothing. Tell your spouse you spent the entire week working on your resume. When spouse says “Let me have a look,” say you’re still fine-tuning it.
5. Start working on resume. … (Working Stiffed is continued here.)
Tags: Business Humor, Career Humor, Employment Humor, Job Hunting Humor, Job Loss Humor, Office Humor Column, Unemployment Advice, Work Humor, Workplace & Career Humor
Lol! Your post made me laugh! Boy, am I glad I’m self employed. :-)
Thanks so much, Lisa!
Not an experience I’ve ever shared, but I enjoyed the description.
Thanks, Rinkly!
So much is so close to the truth of the unemployed! From a distance it seems amusing and bizarre! But close-up it’s another story!
Sounds about right! Funny!
Thanks so much Gemma and Old Ollie!